When a relationship feels like it’s falling apart, many couples ask themselves: Would taking a trip together fix this? Maybe you’ve thought about escaping your daily routine, hoping that a few days on the beach or in the mountains could bring back the closeness you once had. But can a trip really save your relationship? The honest answer is — it depends. As a therapist who works with couples, here’s what I’ve seen, what actually helps, and what doesn’t.
Why Couples Think a Trip Will Help
It’s a tempting idea: You’re arguing at home, feeling disconnected, or just… numb. So you plan a getaway — something exciting to “reignite the spark.” And in some cases, it can help. But let’s talk about why people turn to travel in the first place:
- They’re tired of fighting over the same things.
- Life feels boring or routine.
- They miss how things “used to be.”
- They want neutral ground to talk without distractions.
- They hope being away will help them reset.
None of these reasons are bad. In fact, a change of scenery can offer space to breathe. But the trip alone isn’t the fix — what happens during the trip matters much more than where you go.
The Temporary Escape: Helpful or Harmful?
A vacation can be a break from stress. That’s a good thing. But it can also be a way of avoiding deeper problems.
Here’s the trap: Many couples enjoy the getaway, feel close again, and believe everything is solved. Then, two weeks later — they’re back to fighting over dishes or feeling emotionally distant. Why? Because the environment changed, but the habits and communication patterns did not.
So no, a trip won’t magically fix everything. But it can create a window — a chance to connect, talk, and see your partner in a different light. It just has to be done intentionally.
When a Trip Might Actually Help
Not all couples benefit from a vacation. But here’s when it can be healing:
1. You’re Both Willing to Reconnect
If both partners want to work on things — even if you don’t know how — a trip can give you that breathing room. No work calls. No school runs. No endless to-do list. You finally have space to talk, touch, and rest.
2. You Set Realistic Expectations
Don’t expect the trip to erase all your issues. Instead, aim for one goal: Can we reconnect emotionally or physically in some small way?
Maybe it’s holding hands again. Laughing over a shared meal. Saying something kind. One small connection can go a long way.
3. You Use It to Communicate
Use the quiet moments — like a long walk or lying on the beach — to check in:
- “How are we really doing?”
- “What’s been hardest for you lately?”
- “What do you miss most about us?”
These questions don’t have to lead to fights. They can open doors.
4. You Learn to Enjoy Each Other Again
Sometimes, couples need a break from only talking about their problems. Fun matters too. A shared adventure, a new experience, or even getting lost together — these things remind you of why you chose each other in the first place.
When a Trip Might Not Be the Best Idea
There are situations where a vacation can do more harm than good. For example:
1. You’re Using It to Avoid Big Problems
If one or both of you is cheating, lying, or hiding major issues — a vacation won’t make that go away. In fact, the trip might create false hope, only for things to fall apart again later.
2. One Person Is Checked Out
If one partner is emotionally done, forced quality time might feel like pressure instead of healing. In that case, couples therapy is a safer starting point than a vacation.
3. You Can’t Even Have a Peaceful Dinner
If simple conversations always turn into fights, you might not be ready for a trip. Being stuck in a hotel room or car together can increase tension instead of fixing it.
Therapist Tips: How to Make a Trip Healing, Not Hurting
Here’s how to make sure your relationship getaway has a real chance of helping:
Plan Together, Don’t Surprise
Both people should feel excited and comfortable about the trip. It should not feel like a test or a pressure cooker. Discuss budget, location, and what you both need — rest, fun, space, or romance.
Talk About Boundaries Beforehand
What will you avoid talking about? What’s okay to bring up? Some couples agree not to argue on vacation — and that’s okay if it keeps things peaceful. Others choose one calm moment to have a deeper talk.
Make Time for Connection (Without Phones)
Put away your phone for parts of the day. Go for a walk. Sit in silence. Watch a sunset. Hold hands. These small moments create safety — and sometimes, healing begins in silence.
Don’t Expect a Fairytale
Not every moment will be magical. You might feel awkward. You might even argue. That’s okay. What matters is how you come back from those moments. Can you repair, apologize, or take a break?
What to Do After You Return
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is thinking the trip fixed everything — and then slipping back into old patterns.
When you come back:
- Talk about what felt good on the trip.
- Bring one small habit home (e.g., regular check-ins or walks together).
- Consider couples therapy if things still feel stuck.
And if children or parenting stress are part of what’s affecting your marriage, you might also benefit from support through our Child & Adolescent Clinic, where we help families work through emotional and behavioural struggles together.
Final Thought: A Trip Can’t Save a Relationship — But It Can Save a Moment
And sometimes, that one moment — that one night of laughter, that one walk holding hands, that one deep talk under the stars — is enough to remind you that love is still there. It may be buried, bruised, or tired. But it’s not gone.
And if both of you are willing to water it — even with small, awkward steps — that’s where healing begins.
